we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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