he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize