I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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