you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
