Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
