I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
