he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
