Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
