omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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