they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
