bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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