i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
