I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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