I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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