That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
