You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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