omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
