why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
