Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
