So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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