he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
