Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
