She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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