haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he was CRYING into my vagina
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
