i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
