OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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