Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
