I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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