It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
