I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
