she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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