Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
