tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
