It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Panties = found
Randomize
