I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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