genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
