Its about making memories worth repressing
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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