i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
