Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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