too bad you live with your parents still
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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