when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
