I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
