I just pynch a tree in the face
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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