Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
