so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize