what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
