she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
