Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's blow job season.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize