These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
