I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
