Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
