I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Life is so much better after having sex.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
