Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
