I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
they need to just BURY HIM!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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