Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
