need another drink. this is the easiest way
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
