some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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