Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
