She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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