You're my little dorito
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
